On Thursday, founder Matt Nelson apparently noticed that FCC Chairman Ajit Pai followed another one of his Twitter accounts, @dog_feelings, after Pai retweeted it on Thursday.
Ajit follows dog feelings and seems to enjoy it. Who wants to help me craft a sincere DM to him explaining why he shouldn't ruin the Internet? pic.twitter.com/NkXvdhKNOX
"Just wanted in inform you that starting with the repeal of net neutrality, we will block you and this account will be private," the message reads, before detailing the premium "Pupper" and "Doggo" packages he can buy to access the account.
As the Daily Dot explained in this piece last week, the loss of net neutrality could make you pay more for internet access. "Critics of the FCC's plan warn that ISPs could begin to institute 'tiered' internet plans, much in the same way that television providers offer different cable TV packages," wrote the Daily Dot's Andrew Wyrich. "For example, your ISP might offer one plan that includes access Bing's search engine but not Google's, or to Twitter but not Facebook, while only the most expensive plans would give customers access to the internet as they do today. Others worry about censorship and limits on freedom of expression online."
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That's why Nelson's DM to Pai is so biting. How upset would Pai be if he had to pay $50 a month for the Doggo Package in the future when, today, Pai has to pay nothing for all his @dog_feelings content?
The trolling effort by Nelson was A-plus. In We Rate Dogs terms, we'd give it 13/10.
The renaissance of board gaming culture has left us with a glut of great new games, but it's also left some of the best classic board games collecting dust. Sometimes you don't have the patience to learn something new, don't have the money to pick up the newest 8,000-piece zombie-hunting experience, or just want to settle in with some good nostalgic fun. When nothing but the best classic games will do, here are our picks for which boxes to dig out of the closet-and how to improve them.
Two headnotes: No, you won't find Chutes and Ladders here: We like games with a little skill, rather than leaving the entire play experience to chance. And you might think a 4.4 is a rough rating, but the notorious critics at Board Game Geeks definitely are biased against these dusty favorites.
The best classic board games
1) Scrabble
Year of origin: 1938 Number of players: 2-4 Time to play: 90 minutes BoardGameGeek rating: 6.3
There are few things more satisfying than finally besting your parents at Scrabble after enduring a decade of their relentless dominance. If you haven't played in a while, it might be time to bust out the crossword-building game and give it another go. To sharpen your skills, try to learn the approved two-letter words and words that use the Q without a U. Finally, make sure you upgrade your set to a deluxe edition with a grid to lock the tiles in place; this ain't the '50s anymore.
Year of origin: 1931 Number of players: 2 Time to play: 30 minutes BoardGameGeek rating: 4.6
What, you thought it was just a matter of blind guessing until you nail all your opponent's ships? Think again. Tech consultant and gaming analyst Nick Berry painstakingly tested various strategies to make winning Battleship as efficient as possible. Read up on his research here, then challenge your big brother to the rematch of a lifetime.
Year of origin: 1984 Number of players: 2-6 Time to play: 60 minutes BoardGameGeek rating: 6.4
In the era of "fake news," a game about bullshitting has never been more appropriate. It's as much a test of your poker face as it is about making up convincing definitions for words. For a modern twist, check out Fibbage, part of the JackBox Games party pack.
Year of origin: 1933 Number of players: 2-8 (wait, really? 8?!) Time to play: 60-180 minutes BoardGameGeek rating: 4.4
In junior high, my best friend Allie and I would set up Monopoly games that could last days; if there was still no winner at the end of a slumber party, we'd write down the placement of every piece and dollar, pack up the box safely away from her cats, and set it all back up again the next time we hung out.
As an adult with precious little weekend time, I now recognize the error of these ways. Fortunately, so has the rest of the world, which has come up with countless suggestions that can improve (and greatly speed up) gameplay: instituting a no-property rule on the first lap around the board, adding another die to the mix, tweaking the Chance and Community Chest decks, or actually (gasp!) playing by the written rules, most of which you've been unwittingly ignoring your whole life. If you fall in love and want to update your set, be sure to investigate one with some of the new crowdsourced token ideas.
Year of origin: 1949 Number of players: 3-6 Time to play: 45 minutes BoardGameGeek rating: 5.6
Professor Plum, in the Conservatory, with the lead pipe! The punchline of this game is a well-worn favorite, but the game itself could use a little help. With a lucky guess or two, the game can be over in an instant, making it more about luck than actual deductive ability and pushing fans more toward other deduction games like Sleuth or Mystery of the Abbey. To make things a little more thoughtful, consider a rule variation in which you ditch the dice roll and give each player a stock nine credits for each turn (one per move, three per guess) to strategically use as they will. Or you can really up the ante by transforming the game into a full-fledged RPG.
Year of origin: 1971 Number of players: 2 Time to play: 20 minutes BoardGameGeek rating: 5.5
Speaking of deduction games, Mastermind is a reliable old standby. Use your critical thinking skills to determine the color and order of the codemaster's pegs. It sounds (and is) straightforward enough, but deductive reasoning isn't always so simple. This game hasn't changed a bit since its introduction almost half a century ago, and that's just fine by us.
Image copyrightCarol WillacyImage caption Carol Willacy says even working dogs like Charlie, left, get "horrendous" attention from strangers
"I'm working" or "do not disturb" are messages usually worn by a guide or assistant dog.
The Royal National Institute of Blind People says petting a working dog risks "distracting the dog from its work" and "could put its owner at risk of danger".
But some pet owners are also saying they don't like strangers stroking their non-working dog.
Contact can also be a problem for owners of shy dogs, deaf dogs and puppies prone to bite or growl. Here's why some people are saying: "Please don't pet my dog."
1) 'My dog's deaf'
Image copyrightDebra Dorrans
Debra Dorrans' black labrador-staffie Benny is 14 and has lost his hearing – so she worries "he might get a fright" if people come up to him and stroke him.
She also recently adopted seven-year-old Sam, a white westie who gets nervous around other dogs and children.
"I have heard of dogs biting children that have then had to be put down," she says.
"I've never been in that position, but I'm always aware."
Debra, a retired nurse, is one of 12,000 members of Facebook group Reactive Dogs, which brings together owners of dogs who show excessive fear or aggression around strangers.
"I always put my dogs first," says Debra.
"I don't want them to get into any trouble or bite someone."
She says she's not afraid to say no to people who want to pet her dogs, but warns that "you have to keep your wits about you".
"One day a small child ran up to Benny and wrapped his arms around him. I told the parents they shouldn't do that, but they didn't really seem to understand."
2) 'Quite alarming'
Image copyrightDale McLelland
"I'm not embarrassed to say to someone – please don't pet my dog," says Dale McLelland, from Ayrshire, owner of two-year-old Hattie.
She says people "absolutely make a beeline" for the old English sheepdog.
"It's hairy dog syndrome. She looks so cute."
But she explains it can be "quite alarming for her" if too many people approach Hattie during her walks.
Dale, who has worked as a dog behaviourist for 10 years, says dogs can find strangers' hugging and petting intrusive.
"Can you imagine if you were on a train and every second person came over and touched you, how uncomfortable that would make you feel?"
Dog person? The correct way to pet a stranger's pooch
Never leave your child alone with a stranger's dog
And don't approach a dog without an owner around
Only stroke the a dog if the owner says, "Yes, you can"
Get the dog to sniff your hand first, then stroke gently
If a strange dog approaches you – stand still, look away and cross your arms
Source: Dogs Trust
Dale avoids busy places, and volunteers for Yellow Dog, a US-based project that advocates putting a yellow ribbon on a dog to show that they need space.
"The problem is, not many people know what the ribbon means – and those that do are normally clued up."
She adds: "I had rottweilers for 20 years – and only people who probably knew the breed came over and touched them."
3) 'My dog IS working'
Image copyrightCarol Willacy
But even working dogs get disturbed, according to those who rely on them.
Carol Willacy says her assistance dog Charlie, a golden labrador, is "my life, everything" – but that the attention he gets from strangers can be "horrendous".
She says about 50 people will approach her on a trip to the supermarket, even if he is wearing his harness.
"The 'do not distract' message doesn't make a difference," she says.
"There's a saying at least half of people come out with, 'I know I'm not supposed to touch your dog, but…'"
Carol, 48, suffered a spinal injury as a teenager and also has stereotypic movement disorder (SMD), meaning she uses a wheelchair and had to give up her job as a pharmaceuticals account manager.
Three-year-old Charlie helps Carol by passing her things and, crucially, detects and warns her if she is unwell.
"If your dog is going to tell you you're not feeling well, you want that dog to be focused and not stroked and stopped," she says.
"My previous assistance dog was a little Jack Russell and we had the same problem. He had to retire as he got grumpy with people," she says.
4) 'I'm training my puppy'
Image copyrightLuke Balsam
Dog trainer Luke Balsam, who runs a school in London, says puppies in particular should be left alone – as they are still getting used to walks and being around strangers.
"People are drawn to puppies," says Luke, who owns a cocker spaniel, Indie.
"But some don't think it's necessary to ask the owner's permission."
In London, where lots of people live in flats and might not own a pet, seeing dogs on the Tube or in cafes can be a novelty.
Luke says public-shy owners should go "off the beaten track", like a wooded area, until they have trained a puppy or dog to walk around in busy places.
But he says anyone worried their dog might bite or nip a person should use a muzzle.
"It's definitely recommended," he says.
"The muzzle should be an essential part of training your dog, and they can be taught to enjoy wearing it."
Have you said "don't pet my dog" to a stranger? Or do you like it when people want to pet your dog? You can share your experience by emailing haveyoursay@bbc.co.uk.
Please include a contact number if you are willing to speak to a BBC journalist. You can also contact us in the following ways:
Heaven. The jewel of outer space. The gold-paved paradise where your dead grandma has yet to make friends. Former home of Babe Ruth. The big zoo where they keep God.
You died yesterday in a guillotine accident, and because you correctly chose to be a Christian during your life, you are now being rewarded with eternal glory in the Kingdom of God.
Good shit, good shit.
Enter.
"Welcome to Herman!" a small angel screams at you.
Don't you mean Heaven?
"Yes, that is what I said. My name is Donner, and I will be your Hermanly Host for the next 500 billion years, assisting you with whatever you need while you're acclimating to life inside the pearly gates."
Nice to meet you, Donner.
Why only the next 500 billion years?
"Because after that I will enter my chrysalis stage and transform into a pelican."
Yes, of course.
"Herman can be a wonderful place, but it can also be a not-so-wonderful place," Donner screams as your childhood dog hurtles through the sky behind him, giving you a brief preview of the glories that await. "It all depends whether you get on God's good side or his bad side."
What happens if you get on God's bad side?
"Well, for one, he'll let you use his Sonicare toothbrush, which is way better than a normal toothbrush. And sometimes he'll take you for a ride in his private golf cart and let you sit on his lap and pretend to drive. Oh, and sometimes he'll let you watch the personalized episodes of King Of The Hill that he made for himself after realizing that he couldn't relate to the original series-I hear they're really good, too."
That sounds amazing.
"Yes, it is. But what's really amazing is if you become God's favorite. If God chooses you as his favorite, you get to live in his house with him and basically be a god yourself. He lets you partake in his holy vegetables and sleep next to him in a matching sleeping bag. He lets you hold the walkie-talkie that receives all of mankind's prayers. But the coolest part is that he lets you into his private trophy room to look at all his trophies-truly, there is no greater privilege."
Wow, being God's favorite sounds incredible. I will aspire to this.
"Well, there are a number of things God could do to make your life unpleasant, but if you really get on his bad side, he'll sentence you to live in Judas' Bog. That's the fucked-up swamp of sadness God invented for Judas because he didn't think Hell was a severe enough punishment. It is said that everyone there is constantly flying around jetpack-like with the most brutal diarrhea imaginable, and there's no toilet paper, so you have to use a communal Nerf football. And every time you open your mouth there, a sickly old bat flies into your mouth and makes love with your tongue, and then it lays a clutch of sour eggs on your tongue, and if you try to spit them out, a tiny Tom Hanks in a police uniform runs up and shatters your knees with a billy club. The tiny Tom Hanks is an asshole, and he's always hitting you for arbitrary reasons. Every day in Judas' Bog is a stupid fiesta of nightmares, and I hope you never have to go there."
Ah, okay. And what happens if you get on God's good side?
"Hey, speaking of God, here's your ride now to go meet him," says Donner as a tramcar piloted by a gorilla pulls up. "Good luck, and let me know if you need anything. You can find me in the bathroom toilet of your condo, which is where I live."
Hop on the tram. Tip Donner five dollars.
"I don't know what the hell this is, but thank you," says Donner, eating the $5 bill.
Hop on the tram.
You get on the tram and start flying through Heaven to meet God. You see all sorts of neat stuff through the window, such as a gold-plated CVS and two angels electrocuting a giant squid with their powers.
Sit quietly for the remainder of the ride. Make small talk with the gorilla pilot.
You ask the gorilla how he likes it in Heaven, but he just sits there like an idiot and doesn't say anything. Annoyed, you find an empty beer can on the floor and throw it at the gorilla's head to try to get his attention.
Then, without saying a word, the gorilla extends his hand back toward you in a manner that suggests he wants you to hold his hand.
Hold the gorilla pilot's hand.
The moment you take the gorilla's hand, you feel a powerful surge of energy explode through your body, and suddenly millions of images and sounds are rapidly flashing through your mind.
You see drunk, muscular angels blasting you with a firehose and mocking you for not being as sleek and hairless as them. You see a lionlike beast covered head to toe in gorgeous lips singing a ballad about how he flew to Earth the morning of 9/11 and put all of your bananas in the North Tower and how you cried when you saw the footage of them exploding on MSNBC. You see big-shot Heaven celebrities James Gandolfini and Steve Irwin walking down a golden street holding hands, and as they pass you, you hear Steve yell, "Blimey! It's Rodney Dipshit!" and they both bust out laughing. Then you hear what is unmistakably the voice of God saying, "Rodney, you useless moron ape! Pack your bags, I am sending you to live in Judas' Bog for the rest of eternity!"
The gorilla pilot pulls his hand away, and the images stop flashing through your mind. You realize that he has just shown you his memories of Heaven, and you understand that his experience has not been a good one.
Damn, if that's what it's like to be on God's bad side, then you need to do whatever it takes to make sure he likes you.
Put up the privacy window so the gorilla doesn't touch you again and quietly wait out the rest of the ride.
The tram pulls up in front of God's house and leaves you at the doorstep.
"Welcome, my child," says a voice that is somehow both loud and quiet, deep and shrill, American-sounding and Chinese-sounding. "Come in so that I might gaze upon you with my powerful, high-quality eyes and sniff you with my wise, deathless snout."
The front door opens, beckoning you inside.
Enter God's house.
"Oh, hey there, buddy. How's it goin'? My name's God. What's your name?"
Holy shit. It's God.
Tell God your name.
"Yeah, I already knew that. Funny story, but I actually created you out of some clay and toothpicks and shit, so I pretty much know everything there is to know about you. Weird, right?"
You're at a loss for words. You're excited to be talking to God, but also extremely nervous and a bit paranoid, because if he knows everything about you, then that probably means he knows about-
"-the time you got drunk and ran over the mailman with your car? And you didn't know what to do with the body so you just put some stamps on it and stuffed it into one of those big metal street-corner mailboxes, and nobody discovered the body for months because the guy who normally emptied that mailbox was the guy you killed, and when someone finally did discover him, his corpse was a perfect cube shape because the body had bloated into the mold of the mailbox's rigid 90-degree corners, and the poor guy had to be buried in a hollowed-out refrigerator since there were no coffins that could accommodate his angular dimensions? Yep, I know about that."
Whoa, did God just read your mind?
"Yes. I did. And for what it's worth, that mailman was constantly taking my name in vain, so it doesn't bug me that you killed him."
That is very cool and gracious of you, Lord. Thank you.
"Sooooo, anyway… did you bring me any offerings?"
Shit. You forgot to bring God an offering. You should've stopped at that CVS on the way over.
Confess to God that you forgot to bring an offering. Lie to God and say that you did bring him an offering, but you left it outside, so you gotta run out real quick to grab it.
"Oh, okay, cool. Seems like it would've made more sense to just bring it in when you got here, but what do I know-it's not like I'm omniscient or anything. But, yeah, if you wanna run out and grab my offering real quick, that'd be great."
Run outside and try to find an offering.
You run outside and frantically start looking for an offering to give to God. Luckily, as you're searching, you notice three things hurtling through the sky that might be able to pass as offerings: a vending machine, a TurboTax Premier software bundle, and the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.
Grab the vending machine. Grab the TurboTax Premier software bundle. Grab Michael Jackson.
You grab Michael Jackson and bring him to God as an offering.
"Whoa, holy shit!" says God. "You got me my own Michael Jackson? Badass, bro! I've always wanted one of these."
"Hee-heeeee!" Michael Jackson sings as he moonwalks around God's living room. "Shamone!"
"Oh, cool, he's doing all the things!" God exclaims. "Damn, this offering rules. You have pleased me greatly. Keep this up, and I can see you becoming my favorite in no time."
Nice. Sweet.
You quickly run outside and grab Michael Jackson, hoping that God will like the King of Pop more than he liked your first offering.
"Whoa, holy shit!" says God. "You got me my own Michael Jackson? Badass, bro! I've always wanted one of these."
"Hee-heeeee!" Michael Jackson sings as he moonwalks around God's living room. "Shamone!"
"Oh, cool, he's doing all the things!" God exclaims. "Damn, this offering rules-way better than that bullshit you brought me before. Dang. You have pleased me greatly. Keep this up and I can see you becoming my favorite in no time."
Nice. Sweet.
"Now, before I send you on your way, are there any questions you'd like to ask me? You can ask whatever you'd like-no topics are off limits."
Is there life after death? Whose hand is that holding you up in the air? Did my dad go to Heaven when he died? When is your birthday?
God sighs deeply and rubs his eyes with exasperation.
"Yes. Yes, there is."
Good to know!
"Anyway, I think that's enough questions for now. But thanks again for giving me Michael Jackson-you definitely earned some brownie points with that one. Lemme know if you need anything, and don't be a stranger. Adios, amigo!"
Say amen, the universal word for signaling that you are done talking to God.
"Ah, I see what you did there. Fun."
Leave God's house.
"Bradley's. Are there any other questions you'd like to ask me?"
Is there life after death? Did my dad go to Heaven when he died? When is your birthday? I have no further questions.
"Okay, well, it was cool meeting you. Thanks again for giving me Michael Jackson-you definitely earned some brownie points with that one. Lemme know if you need anything, and don't be a stranger. Adios, amigo!"
Say amen, the universal word for signaling that you are done talking to God.
There is a long, awkward silence.
"Please ask me a different question."
Is there life after death? Whose hand is that holding you up in the air? When is your birthday? I have no further questions.
"I have eight birthdays. I am allowed to have as many birthdays as I want because I am God. Do you have any other questions?"
Is there life after death? Whose hand is that holding you up in the air? Did my dad go to Heaven when he died? I have no further questions.
You grab the TurboTax software bundle and bring it to God as an offering.
"You gotta be shitting me," says God, anger creeping into his voice. "Seriously? Tax software? What the hell am I supposed to do with this? Did you see anything in the Bible about me doing taxes? Come on. God doesn't do taxes. That's nerd shit."
You're getting the sense that God doesn't like your offering.
"I'm not sure why you're trying to clown me, bro. You knew this was a junkass offering, but you gave it to me anyway. And that's shitty. Maybe I should banish you to Judas' Bog to teach you a little something about respect. How's that sound, eh?"
Grovel before the Lord and beg for his mercy. Tell God you have another offering for him, then run outside and grab Michael Jackson.
You grab the vending machine and bring it to God as an offering.
"Ummm, what the hell is this?" asks God, anger creeping into his voice. "Seriously, what the hell is this? A fucking vending machine? Come on. It'd be one thing if you just brought me a pile of snacks, but instead you've brought me a pile of snacks locked inside a giant box, and I have to pay my own money to access the snacks. So, essentially, the gift you're giving me is the option to spend $1.50 on Certs."
You're getting the sense that God doesn't like your offering.
"You realize that I'm the creator of all things, right? So, if I wanted snacks, I could just will them into existence, like this."
God snaps his fingers and a nine-foot mound of Corn Nuts materializes.
"You shouldn't have clowned me, bro. You knew that was a junkass offering, but you didn't care. You didn't respect me. So I'm thinking maybe I should banish you to Judas' Bog to teach you a little something about respect. How's that sound, eh?"
Grovel before the Lord and beg for his mercy. Tell God you have another offering for him, then run outside and grab Michael Jackson.
